


Insanity bites.

by Kaylzee



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4395725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylzee/pseuds/Kaylzee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever been in a short spot for money? </p><p>Rosa has. She needed money badly and participating in a new testing program for gaming technology seemed like a pretty harmless way to make it. Three months later she finds out that her boss is an insane fangirl and somehow (She won't say) has bought the video game characters from Dragon Age to life. And really, some people need to stop calling her Hawke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insanity bites.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback is more than welcome, this is just a silly little concept I've been toying around with in my head for a while now. More characters may be added as the story progresses.

The Machine known only as ‘Ruby’ churned out a long ream of numbers, paper flying out of the printing chute at a speed that the old machine clearly wasn’t used to. If any technicians were in the room there might’ve been some cause for excitement, the project so far had brought forth nothing but failure and everybody’s jobs were _very_ close to being on the line. (*1)

 

Luckily for the world at large the security guard was paying attention to his camera’s and managed to blink his eyes in surprise several times before watching what appeared to be a very large group of _very_ strange people appear on the floor of Lab 2A.

 

It took a few minutes before any of them stirred but soon they were awake and looking like they were going to literally (In the actual sense of the word, not just the way young people day it nowadays.) tear down the walls. One of them, a blonde man with a pony tail and a patchwork fur coat picked up an ornate stick and the guard physically jumped out of his seat as fire shot out of it. Hastily, he looked to the glass panel on the wall beside his console and smashed it with his elbow. Ignoring the sensation of glass piercing his skin he pulled the lever inside with his other hand. On screen the people covered their ears and hit the ground swiftly as a thick gas filled the air.

 

The security guard called the front desk before looking at his arm and casually realizing it was bleeding. It was then than he vowed to quit playing dnd after he’d taken some form of mind-altering substance and decided that logically he was clearly hallucinating. On the other hand, the people didn’t’ disappear.

 

Later that evening, when he’d switched out with his co-worker the security guard handed in his resignation.

 

 

Minutes before the room below had been what one could only have adeptly described as a ‘clusterfuck’. Varric felt some small sense of pride of pride at making up a word as he so often did, but the happy feeling was soon over-ridden as he took in his surroundings.

 

As far as Varric could remember he’d been in Skyhold with the inquisitor, they’d been just about to head out for a mission and the sky had opened up, lightening spewing out of holes that had been closed months ago. The turn of events had been so sudden that even he didn’t have time to make a quip before a bolt of lightening struck the group and he lost consciousness.

 

The sensible part of his brain told him that he should have been less upset about the lack of quip and more about the holes in the sky but his vanity chose to ignore that. The next thing he knew he had awakened in a room of the likes he’d never seen. The walls appeared to be made of some kind of metal, the room was full of strange, square furniture and objects that also appeared to be made of metal and another hard substance he’s never seen before.

 

The only thought Varric had in his head when he woke was ‘What the hell’s happened this time?’ What actually came out of his mouth was more along the lines of “Son of a nug.”

 

This thought turned out to be quite apt as he began noticing the others in the room with him. Varric closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose waiting for chaos to erupt.

 

It was about five seconds later that both Crown Prince Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven and Fenris noticed Anders a few feet away from them. As common sense would have it, everything went downhill from there.

 

Sebastian drew his bow and fire launched itself from Anders staff. Varric also noticed a few others around him stirring when a loud siren bellowed out across the room causing everybody to stop what they were doing and cover their ears as a thick smoke poured the walls. Varric’s vision began to blur again.

 

 

The intern nearly dropped his paperwork at the sight that greeted him when he walked into his employers’ office. His Boss, Mia Strathford lay across the desk, drool hanging from her mouth surrounded by more half eaten cups of noodles than should reasonably be stacked on one desk. She didn’t stir immediately and he hesitantly looked for somewhere in the office to place his report.

 

His name was Geffery but nobody had really bothered to remember it since most of his predecessors had quit within the day. The office staff found it easier to simply refer to anyone who was unfortunate enough to hold his position ‘the intern”. That way, nobody got attached and they didn’t feel they could get attached to yet another human unfortunate enough to be at the whims of ‘that madwoman’.

 

He was under strict instructions not to wake Mia from his supervisor but he was also under direct orders to wake her and tell her about the ‘situation’ in 2A’ as per his supervisor’s supervisor.

 

Mia mumbled in her sleep all the while holding the facial expression of an innocent sleeping child. Geffery could only make out one word. Unfortunately for the world at large that word sounded like ‘Alistair’, the rest was pure gibberish.

 

Hesitantly he tapped her elbow, which seemed to be trapped between the piles of noodles. He flinched pre-emtively to no avail, all she did was sigh and, from what he could tell, _blush_?

 

Clearing his throat he went for a different approach. “Maam!”

 

Fortune favored him as Mia’s eyes fluttered open and her hand instinctively wiped the drool from her mouth, making the noodle cup fortress topple around her. She looked up at the intern, no Geffery (*2) wide eyed.

 

Her groggy rendition of the sound ‘Wha?’ awarded her a wad of paperwork being shoved in her face. Still half-asleep she blinked owlishly again before the intern clarified.

 

“Mam, there’s a situation in 2A”

 

It seemed to take her a while but once the words ‘2A’ made their rounds through her neural passages Mia bolted upright. “Take me there at once” She declared in a voice that held far more authority than it looked like she could possibly possess. Still, Miss Strathford was his boss and the intern did as he was told.

 

The daunting walk down the hallways and lower levels of the facility unnerved the intern slightly but it wasn’t until they reached the room and his employer let out a shriek that probably should have belonged to a thirteen year old schoolgirl not a 25 year old business owner. that the intern questioned the life choices that led him to this point. It was even more disturbing when said employer began to cackle with the combined enthusiasm of both Dr Frankenstein and a contestant on ‘Say Yes to the Dress’. Gathering what little courage was left the intern peeked out the glass window into the lab and noticed that several larpers were dressed as characters from a video game series called Dragon Age that he remembered playing a while ago.

 

Looking between this and his insane cackling employer, the intern, no, Geffery made a decision.

 

He quit.

 

* * *

 

 

(*1) It might be noted that none of the employees at the facility really cared either; working for an insane fangirl hadn’t been their idea of a career when they graduated college.

 

(*2) It had taken him only a few hours to refer to _himself_ as ‘the intern’.


End file.
